TIShadster on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/tishadster/art/Within-344125077TIShadster

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Sit down for a spell, and let me spin a yarn of sorts...

People know me as a nice sort of guy. They can get along with me, or they don't. Either way, I keep but a calm stature about me, and even act like one of the guys when with friends.

I have a way with feelings, so to speak.

I tend to keep hurtful feelings I experience within myself, rather than expressing what's bothering me. I'd rather not bring my own problems onto my friends, no matter how helpful they are to me.

It's like...y'know those things where everyone's got an angel and a devil inside themselves?
Think of it differently with my Asperger's.

Within me, there's two voices.
One always tells me that it's okay to let your emotions run, that letting others help you figure out what to do next is okay; you shouldn't have to be afraid to talk to your friends about what is upsetting you.
But the other voice tells me that to express my problems is a sign of weakness, and if you just keep it to yourself, you'll be a lot better off.

Within me, that second voice tends to always prevail over the other one.
It's the primary reason why I'm such a volatile person with my emotions, underneath my well-mannered and calm facade.

I just don't want to hurt people...


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And now I suppose I should explain myself..

As of late, recent events that have ranged from post-finals stress, last minute Christmas shopping, and my girlfriend feeling a bit down (and we'll leave it at that) have left me a bit more emotionally weak, both physically and mentally; but mostly mentally.

Let's just say because of what Julia's been going through and me not being able to keep my big stupid mouth shut, it's taken its toll on me. The last two days have seen me much more prone to outbursts and mounting stress, and have seen me lash out at people who were only trying to help.

I'm mainly referring to these people:
:iconflaminghammers1997::icongarysmodx::iconsonicblast224::iconmadaraxiii::icondjrocket:

FlamingHammers, I'm especially sorry to, since he had tried to draw a picture of mine and Julia's Ponysonas together, and he ended up taking it down after suffering a bit of verbal abuse from me.

Just...I never intended for any of this. I can't be logical enough to just say what's bothering me to you guys, and I ended up driving you all off.

So....my sincerest apologies to those I hurt. Please just try and understand me.

...Oh yeah. Also my first time trying out Photoshop. Thanks :iconpc1073:
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© 2012 - 2024 TIShadster
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TheFanButtonCreaator's avatar
TIShadster what are the names of the 2 white coated ponies if they have names idk if they do.